I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
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