Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
another moral hangover. fuck.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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