My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
