Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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