Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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