i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
