The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
