So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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