Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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