Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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