hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i barfeds in our rink
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
