Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
