chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
