Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Someone came in the potted fern
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
