You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
