You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm getting married
To pizza
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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