She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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