oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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