how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
