dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
