evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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