During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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