dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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