I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
