Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
