It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
