On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
