I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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