I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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