Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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