Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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