You work out of a Hotel?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
They took my balls.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
