There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
