I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
