yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
