She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
