He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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