Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
