i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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