sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
