I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
