Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
