I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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