I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
