I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
