when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
