i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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