Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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