just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
