Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
