Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
