they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he puts the penis in happiness.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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