I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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