eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
