the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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