I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
