I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
