Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
